Who is it for?
'Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.' William Morris
In most of my articles I have encouraged people to save their possessions, and to take lots of photos. But I am aware that we live in a consumer society, and many of us are overwhelmed with possessions. There is a growing trend towards having less ‘stuff’ in your home (decluttering, death cleaning, minimalism1). William Morris had the right idea, back in the 19th Century.
'Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.' William Morris
But what has decluttering to do with telling the stories of our lives, keeping photos and our memorabilia - or with leaving our legacy? It is relevant because we all wonder what we should be keeping, and “who is this for?” Here are some of my ideas about how to decide what memorabilia to keep, and who it is for.
Things that are important to you
I think that by ‘beautiful’ William Morris also meant the things you love. Possessions that you love, that bring you joy2, and remind you of good times. If you have 30,000 printed photos and you love them all, then keep them.
Be honest with yourself, because if you have too much stuff you will forget you have it, or won’t be able to access the meaningful, precious things that you would love to regularly see, read, and touch. This includes photos, memorabilia and journals. Too much stuff in your house can also make daily life uncomfortable.
Digitise. If you want to reduce the number of printed photos, then scanning is a great idea. Make sure you note any captions on the back of photos, and that you back up your photos before you discard the original. If you have important family printed photos that are in good condition, you may want to keep the original as back up so you have a high quality image, as scan quality can vary.
Keep things in safe, sustainable conditions. Consider buying acid-free cases for longer-term storage. I enjoy watching the British TV programme The Repair Shop, but it is astonishing how many of the things need repair because they have been kept in bad conditions.
I loved going on holiday with my husband. One trip in particular, to Greece, will always stand out as being the perfect holiday. It had the ideal mixture of relaxing and being a tourist. My Gregory was a Greek scholar, and so he told me details and facts about the fascinating historical sites we visited. Though I admit that I did have to ask him if we could have less of the History of the Peloponnesian War by Thucydides. Gregory died in 2019 and my photo book of our holiday is very precious to me.
“One day I will be gone from this world; you will remember me by the words [and photos] that I will leave behind.” Avijeet Das.
Things that may be important to others
Death and taxes are well known to be the only certainties in life. You can’t take your wealth or possessions with you, though I love the effort the Egyptian Pharaohs made to stuff their tombs with luxuries for the after life.
Document photos and objects that may be important to others. These are usually associated with family history and can be easily lost, or disregarded if they have no documentation.
Encourage older relatives to tell or write down stories associated with their photos and objects, so you know why things are important. Do this before you or your relatives are very old, and forgetful. At family gatherings tell those stories - if you tell the stories often enough, they will percolate through the family and remain alive.
Make a list. Many of us have the experience of clearing a relatives house and being overwhelmed by their possessions. In such circumstances, it can be hard to see what is important and what should be kept. Again, if an elderly person keeps a list of objects, with notes about why they are important and who they should go to, it makes the situation much easier after they die. It also ensures the wishes of the deceased person are respected.
Identify someone in the family who is interested in family history, so they can document the stories, and keep the old family photos and memorabilia. In that way it is unlikely anything will be lost when older relatives die.
I have been sorting through some family objects that were taken from my husband’s parents’ house when it was sold after they died. At the time there was too much ‘stuff’ to carefully go through everything. Sadly, I expect some things were lost, though we put some things in boxes in our garage. Now I am moving it has to be sorted.
During the Russian Revolution my husband’s grandfather escaped and came to live in England. He was a very clever man and produced some intriguing inventions. The object below had a label, ‘patent device razor sharpener’. It must have been made around the 1930s, and as far as we know it did not go into production. We have very little from my husband’s grandfather, and so this is important to the family.
Things that are important to you, that are not important to others
Each generation has different tastes. Things that one generation treasures, another does not. We also live differently from previous generations. For instance, few of us have separate dining rooms nowadays, we move more often, and we live in smaller houses and flats. Therefore, we don’t have room or use for many things that were important to previous generations. For example, a multi-piece set of china (that won’t go in the dishwasher), a display cabinet for ornaments, or large pieces of furniture.
Enjoy your possessions. So many things can happen, and one day you may regret that you did not use what you had. My aunt had a sales job, and she was very successful. She was often given champagne by her firm when she exceeded her targets. She had a lot of champagne and she kept it for a special day. The special day came when burglars stole all the champagne.
Set other people’s expectations, so relatives don’t give you things you feel obliged to keep. It can be difficult but be firm, and don’t accept or keep things you don’t like or want.
Don’t assume that because some things are important to you, they will be important to others. Check with family (especially your children) and friends, to see if they will want any of the possessions you are carefully saving for them.
Be kind to yourself. Keep the things you love. It is nobody’s business but your own if you want to keep your collections.
But be realistic. You can’t keep everything.
I love books. My untidy, not colour or size coordinated books in my bookcases (which are only vaguely in any order) will always be a major presence in my home. They are important to me.
When I first came to London aged 19, I had a suitcase of clothes and two bags full of books. Even when I lived in tiny bed-sits, or moved by hauling boxes by myself into taxis, or later when I shipped my possessions abroad, I always took books. Sadly, books are like wine, they are wonderful individually but bulky and heavy in numbers. But I don’t mind if they take up a lot of space. I re-read books, and I have lots of my favourite books on the bookshelves - they bring me comfort. My taste in reading may not appeal to anyone else, so when I am gone someone else will have to heave all my books to the charity bookstore.
What do you keep that is important only to you?
If you want to read more about reducing your possessions, these are excellent books:
Declutter Your Photo Life: Curating, Preserving, Organizing, and Sharing Your Photos by Adam Pratt
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown
Dostadning: The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnusson
Or as Marie Kondo says, a possession should “spark joy”.
Oh this is splendid, Kate. So much yes. Here in Projectkin.org land, we spend a lot of time thinking about the artifacts of our ancestors we start with on storytelling. I love that "don't assume that because it's important to you it will be important to others." That's so true.
A really excellent post with lots for me to think about as I look to reduce my worldly goods. My inspiration for how much to keep is Edward Lear's poem:
On the Coast of Coromandel
Where the early pumpkins blow,
In the middle of the woods
Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
Two old chairs, and half a candle,--
One old jug without a handle,--
These were all his worldly goods:
In the middle of the woods,
These were all the worldly goods,
Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
But I have failed so far. I've kept many books on my travels (along with the jug without a handle), which is absurd, given how much space they take up in a small flat in Tokyo. But I find it hard to let them go.