What a fabulous tale, Kate. Stories in pictures was at the core of our (beloved and now-offline) Ponga.com software. It's funny you mention the Willow Pattern, like an ancient Chinese Romeo & Juliette myth.
I'd used that in Ponga as an early example of how stories were told in porcelain, quilts, and other domestic arts long before we had photography. I started collecting old transfer ware as well (because they were much less expensive than originals, of course.) I have a few pieces made for export in occupied Japan. Though modern, they add another layer to the story. These are a Red Willow variation. Sigh. That was fun, thank you.
Thank you for your comment. I love that you illustrated how domestic arts told stories, especially quilts. Of course, these were usually made by women telling their stories for their families. Children's quilts come to mind.
Your thoughtful essay on the language we use around death had such a great perspective on the need for straightforwardness and resonates with me, primarily when reflecting on personal loss. I loved your personal anecdotes and personal writing, and another great piece.
This idea of expressing "sympathy by saying they are sorry for my loss, as though I have carelessly mislaid him" so struck me... Every time someone says that to me, I find myself looking over my shoulder and behind me as if the person is about to pop out from behind the curtains. Or I left him on the bedside table or on the sofa. I'm such a literal person after all these years.
When I am writing, I never say the person passed away. I always write they died. However, I am at a loss what to say to someone when expressing my sympathies. I often say, I am sorry for your loss. I honestly believed this was a kind expression of sympathy for a death. What would be better to say?
Lovely story. I enjoyed every word. And the Willow pattern is a favourite.
Thank you so much for your comment - though I feel bad. I apologise, as I never want to make people feel uncomfortable about how they express themselves. I have a personal dislike of the expression "sorry for your loss", but it is widely used. It is a kindness to express sympathy because someone died, and is no longer part of their life.
It is always hard to know what to say, and words like condolence are not often used and so seem old-fashioned. I personally say "I am so sad to hear that X has died. My deepest sympathies." If possible I then tell a short, happy story about the dead person.
One of the reasons I dislike the word 'loss' is that the dead person does seem to be lost, to everyone, as they are rarely mentioned. Usually, bereaved people love to hear people mention the person who has died.
Grandmas are the best aren't they?! My own has been my inspiration for life and definitely the reason I have a storage room full of beautiful china, including the Willow patterns. I'm grinning ear-to-ear at the poem - I've never heard that before, but will quietly recite it every time the plates grace my table. Thanks!
I love that someone took time to create stories about the beautiful lives of ordinary people in an extraordinary little country in Africa. I love that the stories center on a wise, intelligent, empathetic woman who helps people fill in the blanks in their ordinary lives. I love that the books show the Africa I know and love.
What a fabulous tale, Kate. Stories in pictures was at the core of our (beloved and now-offline) Ponga.com software. It's funny you mention the Willow Pattern, like an ancient Chinese Romeo & Juliette myth.
I'd used that in Ponga as an early example of how stories were told in porcelain, quilts, and other domestic arts long before we had photography. I started collecting old transfer ware as well (because they were much less expensive than originals, of course.) I have a few pieces made for export in occupied Japan. Though modern, they add another layer to the story. These are a Red Willow variation. Sigh. That was fun, thank you.
Thank you for your comment. I love that you illustrated how domestic arts told stories, especially quilts. Of course, these were usually made by women telling their stories for their families. Children's quilts come to mind.
That is a lot from three photos. Well done.
I love these beautiful small details - I feel like I met Dorothy
Thank you. It is so special to write about someone you love, especially if they are dead, as it brings them back to life in your heart.
Your thoughtful essay on the language we use around death had such a great perspective on the need for straightforwardness and resonates with me, primarily when reflecting on personal loss. I loved your personal anecdotes and personal writing, and another great piece.
Thank you so much for your comments, I am so pleased you liked the essay.
This idea of expressing "sympathy by saying they are sorry for my loss, as though I have carelessly mislaid him" so struck me... Every time someone says that to me, I find myself looking over my shoulder and behind me as if the person is about to pop out from behind the curtains. Or I left him on the bedside table or on the sofa. I'm such a literal person after all these years.
Perhaps that is my problem - I am also a literal person 🤣
When I am writing, I never say the person passed away. I always write they died. However, I am at a loss what to say to someone when expressing my sympathies. I often say, I am sorry for your loss. I honestly believed this was a kind expression of sympathy for a death. What would be better to say?
Lovely story. I enjoyed every word. And the Willow pattern is a favourite.
Thank you so much for your comment - though I feel bad. I apologise, as I never want to make people feel uncomfortable about how they express themselves. I have a personal dislike of the expression "sorry for your loss", but it is widely used. It is a kindness to express sympathy because someone died, and is no longer part of their life.
It is always hard to know what to say, and words like condolence are not often used and so seem old-fashioned. I personally say "I am so sad to hear that X has died. My deepest sympathies." If possible I then tell a short, happy story about the dead person.
One of the reasons I dislike the word 'loss' is that the dead person does seem to be lost, to everyone, as they are rarely mentioned. Usually, bereaved people love to hear people mention the person who has died.
Grandmas are the best aren't they?! My own has been my inspiration for life and definitely the reason I have a storage room full of beautiful china, including the Willow patterns. I'm grinning ear-to-ear at the poem - I've never heard that before, but will quietly recite it every time the plates grace my table. Thanks!
So glad you have so much beautiful china. Yes, grandma's are the best!
I always smiled inwardly when we lived in Botswana where those who have gone before were invariably “late.”
Do you know how it originated?
It was probably a figure of speech from some British settler that resonated long after the British left.
Alexander McCall Smith picked up on it in his No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency series.
I love the No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency books.
I love that someone took time to create stories about the beautiful lives of ordinary people in an extraordinary little country in Africa. I love that the stories center on a wise, intelligent, empathetic woman who helps people fill in the blanks in their ordinary lives. I love that the books show the Africa I know and love.
Me too!
Thank you! The George Eliot quote is spot on!